I had this blog post typed up, with a few photos hanging on at the end, and suddenly, kaput! the whole thing disappeared. At times this site has a few issues. Seriously.

I couldn't get it to work again until now, so I'll try to remember what I wrote.

The meeting with the prosecutor was quick and simple. Or it was supposed to be, anyway. Just some information about the upcoming penalty phase of the trial, mainly.

But family was there, and they started talking about my brother, telling stories and such, and I just...broke down. I don't cry in front of people. I just don't. But it burst out of me like water from a broken water pipe, and there was not a thing I could do about it. I had no control. I cried noisily and messily, with my hands to my face, part of my mind standing back going, "what the hell?"

Today I had an appointment with my OB/GYN, unfortunately. Fun, fun, that. The weather was so wonderful, so warm and sunny, that I spent most of it out on the deck, once I returned home from my appointment.

I took pictures of what I saw on my ride home. Starkness, ugliness, beauty...it's all out there.

Not one second went by today when I didn't miss my daughter with an intensity that made it difficult to breathe. Sometimes it just hurts so very, very much.

I'm going to break out my Elisabeth Kubler-Ross book, on Life after Death, when I've finished this post. It comforts me. It gives me hope.
Picture
Not pretty, but the day was bright
Picture
Picture
Picture
Beautiful, lonely little tree
Picture
Picture
Lovely
Picture



Leave a Reply.