Today has been a mix of good and bad, up and down, relief and anxiety. All these feelings, overflowing like a boiling pot of pasta. Which, by the way, I had for dinner.
I slept well last night, for a change, but still couldn't remember my dreams. Just little bits and pieces of barely grasped memories, ones that make absolutely no sense. I so want to dream about her, I want to communicate with her in my dreams.
My stepbrother came today and brought me a movie, Perfect Stranger. It's not like the cheesy lighthearted feel good flicks I usually watch nowadays, but it's okay. In the evening when it's quiet and dark outside, I like to put in any movie that will help take my mind off stuff.
I just this second realized that I'm due to take my 'help me make it through my life' meds. Off I go, to get the required bowl of ice cream and the pretty little pills. I can't swallow pills, have I mentioned that? I have to go through this whole routine of crushing them, or opening them, and pouring them into ice cream. Nothing else takes the taste away like ice cream. Plus, I do like to eat that ice cream, and all the other sweets, as if that might help fill up that hole inside me.
It never does, but it tastes good going down.
This weekend the weather is supposed to be gorgeous. In the 60s. That'll be a heatwave, compared with what we've been hit with this Winter. I do look forward to that. Everything seems better in the sun.
I found a wonderful woman online who has also lost someone, and her words of understanding and hope just light up my heart. That is my Good Thing for today.
Off to get that ice cream.
I slept well last night, for a change, but still couldn't remember my dreams. Just little bits and pieces of barely grasped memories, ones that make absolutely no sense. I so want to dream about her, I want to communicate with her in my dreams.
My stepbrother came today and brought me a movie, Perfect Stranger. It's not like the cheesy lighthearted feel good flicks I usually watch nowadays, but it's okay. In the evening when it's quiet and dark outside, I like to put in any movie that will help take my mind off stuff.
I just this second realized that I'm due to take my 'help me make it through my life' meds. Off I go, to get the required bowl of ice cream and the pretty little pills. I can't swallow pills, have I mentioned that? I have to go through this whole routine of crushing them, or opening them, and pouring them into ice cream. Nothing else takes the taste away like ice cream. Plus, I do like to eat that ice cream, and all the other sweets, as if that might help fill up that hole inside me.
It never does, but it tastes good going down.
This weekend the weather is supposed to be gorgeous. In the 60s. That'll be a heatwave, compared with what we've been hit with this Winter. I do look forward to that. Everything seems better in the sun.
I found a wonderful woman online who has also lost someone, and her words of understanding and hope just light up my heart. That is my Good Thing for today.
Off to get that ice cream.
This is the ecstatic face of our dog when she was wrapped in my daughter's arms. Hilarious!
RSS Feed